Don’t Idolize Relationships

I have been meaning to write about relationships for a while now but I often hold back because I felt for someone who’s not in a “relationship”, talking (and giving advice) about dating relationships can seem a bit awkward but then I realized that, the fact that I am not experiencing something doesn't mean I have no idea about it.

Same way the fact that someone is experiencing something doesn't mean that they have all the knowledge about it. That been said, I pray this note helps and blesses someone.

Recently a bosom (girl) friend of mine got engaged on her birthday and as I stirred at her finger with the beautiful golden ring on it, it dawned on me “Emmanuel you are single”. For a moment, my countenance dropped but I smiled through it.

There are so many of us desiring to be in a relationship with someone of the opposite sex and that is good. Our desire to be in a relationship is not an ungodly desire but a healthy desire God has put in us however, we must not be careful so we don’t idolize relationships or become desperate about it.

There is danger when we idolize relationships and even more danger when we get desperate about it.

When we become obsessed with wanting someone or needing someone or being in a relationship to a point it becomes the only thing we think about, it has become an idol. An idol is anything wanted/desired more than God.

Desperation leads to depression and there are many people who are depressed because they don’t have that special person in their life. I have heard people say “if I don’t have a relationship I am nothing. If I don’t have companionship, I’m nothing. If I don’t have him/her, I’m nothing to the point they lower their standards and compromise their values in other to have someone.

What they are saying in essence is that a relationship (with a human being) is what gives them their worth. They are idolizing relationships and that is wrong. God never intended for us to intensively need anyone.

When we think about relationships at all, in every relationship, our relationship with God must come first and unless we have a meaningful viable relationship with the Lord Jesus ourselves, we shouldn't go any further in building a relationship with anyone else.

Our first and most important relationship is the one we have with God through Jesus. Every other relationship is secondary to this one. God wants us to want Him more than we want anyone. It is in direct relationship to our walk with Christ that everything else falls into line.

One of the major problems with most of us (especially single people) is that we want a human more than they want Jesus and that is an anomaly. How can we seek a person more than we seek the God who created us?

God wants to be first in our lives and He is not going to negotiate that spot. If your relationship with God is a mess trust me every other relationship in your life (family relationship, friendship relationship, marriage relationship, courtship) will be even a greater mess.

Jeremiah 9:23-24 tells us not to boast of anything but that whoever boasts should boast in this, that he understands and knows God. The only thing we are allowed to boast off is our relationship with God.

How we love God will determine how we love others (and our spouse for those that are married). Our commitment to God will determine our commitment to our others/spouse. If someone cannot be faithful in the walk with God, what makes you think they will be faithful to you?

Our relationships are supposed to help us grow spiritually, emotionally, make us holy and push us closer to Christ not away from Him so if your relationship isn't pushing you closer to Christ, making you more holy but leading you to sin, you need to break it off.

Let go of every meaningless relationships and focus on your relationship with God. Any relationship that interferes with your relationship with God is a dangerous relationship and need to be cut off.

In as much as we may want companionship, we must never pursue someone unless we ourselves first have a relationship with God and before you allow anyone to pursue your heart, make sure they are pursuing God's heart first. God must be our first priority.

Our worth doesn't come from people (we should know this by now) our true worth comes from God and only HE (not people) can fill whatever voids that’s in our lives. Some relationships fail but a relationship with God lasts forever.

It should be everyone’s goal to build a relationship with GOD first before beginning a relationship with anyone else.

For those in (whatever kind of) relationships, make sure your relationships honor God. Have it in mind that God will not bless a relationship He is not involved in so make Christ the center of every of your relationships.

For does desiring a relationship, like I said in opening, your desire to have a relationship is a healthy desire but it shouldn't consume your heart. Be contented with your relationship with God and if you don’t have a relationship with God, begin now to seek Him with the whole of your heart before you seek anyone.

I know this isn't popular opinion and not many will agree with me on this nonetheless, it is the truth. We shouldn't seek the creature more than we seek the creator – that’s idolatry.

I desire to have a relationship with (none other than) my future spouse but I want my relationship with God more. Christ’ coming is imminent and all of us must live in light of His coming. I don’t know about you but as for me, I will trade anything I mean everything even what makes me most happy to be with the Lord.

At the end of day, a relationship with God is the most important relationship anyone can have so which is more important to you; your relationship status with God or your relationship with status a human?  Don’t idolize relationships.

Just Sharing My Thought

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Grace and Peace ♥

Picture Craze

We live in an era of cheap imitation where someone starts something (even if it’s something silly) and everyone jumps on it and social media has become a tool that is misleading a lot of people unknowing to them.

Recently, a random girl took a nude picture of her whole body and sent it to me. I was so upset I felt like punching her in the face. Why would she do such? Anyway, I decided I will speak to the ladies about this issue of picture craze that is fast becoming a trend on social media.

I felt in my heart to address this issue because until you know something is wrong, you most likely will continue in it.

I see ladies upload many different pictures on Facebook, instagram, twitter and other social media platforms. They take pictures of different angles of their face, they take pictures of themselves in the bathroom, they take pictures of themselves in the bedroom, and they even take nude pictures of themselves.

I take pictures too and I absolutely love pictures so I am not against taking pictures but I am concerned about the kind of picture people (especially ladies) take and put out there. If I can see your whole body in a picture you put online, you are doing too much.

 

Impression is very important and you don’t get a second chance to make a first impression. When you put out a picture that shows your whole goodies, I’m going to form an opinion about you based on what I have seen.

One of the things I learned as I grew is, I have learned to respect women and I believe all of us men must respect women (and those who don’t respect women should learn).

That been said, I think since men must respect women, it is only fair that women give us something to respect. It is hard to respect someone who doesn’t respect themselves.

There is a saying “don’t leave your dirty leaning outside.” The statement is still true.

Nobody is interested in seeing all your goodies (maybe some people want to but certainly not me). Don’t jump on anything and everything you see going on social media space. 

If you want to be popular, putting up nude pictures is not the way to go. If you want to be popular, start a blog, write a book and just do something positive. I have a decent presence online today but I didn’t get there doing anything stupid.

My mentor once told me “you will always attract your kind” and that is so true. If you put out pictures showing all your goods online in search of a man, you surely will attract some men but you will attract a dog not a real man... A real man doesn’t want to see all your goods.

I don’t know who needed to read this, but I felt in my heart to address this anomaly so if you are involved in this madness, stop it. If you know someone who is losing her mind on social media, be kind enough and call her to order.

This is not about modesty or religion (notice I didn’t quote even one scripture all through?). This is simply common sense and nothing more. The bitter truth is common sense is not common.

Ladies love yourself, respect yourself, know your worth, keep your clothes on and portray yourself as a woman of class and you will be perceived as such and will command respect. Don’t follow the crowd.

In conclusion, I want to say ladies, I am sorry if I went too far with this but it was heavy in my heart and someone has got to tell you the truth and I am that someone that will tell you the truth and point you towards what is right. 

I want you to know I love you all and I am praying for you. Keep being the best person you can afford to be at all times and remain God’s pride!

Just Sharing My Thought

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Honesty Moment

 

In my last note “None of Us Is Perfect”, I talk extensively on the need for us to be sincere with our imperfections. In this note, I’m sharing with you my personal struggles not for you to crucify me with them but for you to pray for me (prayers is free) and learn from me.

When it comes to accepting our human imperfections, many of us try to resist it. And this is evident in the fact that people think of imperfectness as something that destroys ones self-worth but does it?

What is that one thing in your life that no one knows about? What are those areas in your life that you use all your energy to hide? What weakness are you covering up?

When I ask myself these same questions, what comes to mind is plenty… I really try to hide those days when I really don’t feel like following Jesus because I keep telling everyone to follow Him.

I have a tendency to over-analyze and over-think. My mind is always set on something to the point where I have difficult time sleeping. I move from one assignment to the next assignment and as my responsibility grows I have noticed that my nights have gotten shorter and my days, longer.

I give myself excuses as to why I must work so much and so hard but I know most of it is just foolishness. There's a time to work, and there's a time to rest. 

I love to inform people so I blog but most of you have no idea how hard it is to put one’s words and thoughts online for anyone who cares to look to see. Sometimes it difficult, not because of what people will say, but because of what it shows about my character.

I have said, I am sorry a million times yet it has not stopped from hurting people I love (unintentionally)… lol but seriously,

The number one struggle I had for a long time was my fear of failure. I stay up most night terrified that I was not going to be a failure until the day I made a bold decision to give all of my fears to God and have Him mold me into all He wants for me to become. 

Often we try so hard to be strong that we don't give God the opportunity to be strong in our lives. And that is wrong. At some point, you have to give all your mess to God and stop trying to figure out everything. 

It's ok to feel weak, because God is our strength. It’s ok to feel lonely; God is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. He even cares about the situations you put yourself in... So let go of your pride, take a moment to surrender all that you are to Him. 

The reality is this: We all go through tests and trails. We all have good and bad days. We all have struggles and although we all can choose to be positive in the mist of negativity, it is far better if we surrender all that we are to Him.

Grace is the fact that God knows every stupid mistake we will make, He knows all of our faults and struggles yet He still chose love us regardless.

Cover your sins, cover your weaknesses and God will expose them but expose your sins, expose your struggles and God will cover them.

Just Sharing My Thought

Listen. Laugh. Smile. Relate. Share