What do you mean when you say, “I love you?”

One thing we are all guilty of as a people is “we all say things we don’t mean” from time to time. I do it, you do it, and everyone does it. I however want us to realize words are so powerful that we cannot afford to keep saying things we don’t mean.

God created the entire universe with words. Words are that powerful. The Bible tells us death and life is in the power of the tongue. – Proverbs 18:21 and in Matthew 12:36 scripture says “I tell you that every idle word that men speak, they will give account of it in the Day of Judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”

We have to learn to be so careful with our words because they carry such great weight. Since the day I read the above verse, I became extremely careful with what I say. We all need to grow to a point where we only say things we mean.

Someone recently asked me this question (what do you mean when you say I love you?) via www.ask.fm/emmasensation and I have been meaning to write about it for quite some time.

To begin, I would like us to consider what Jesus told his disciples and by extension all of us before He departed earth.  “A new commandment I give unto you, that ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.  By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another. -  John 13:34-35

From the above text, you’d realize that for the believer, love is not an option. It is a must, it is a command. God expects us to love (not only those that love us but) everyone including known enemies.

So when I was asked the question “what do you mean when you say I love you?” I had to think deep and by the way I’m such a deep thinker.

In our culture today, to say “I love you” at any level has become too easy. As a matter of fact, many people use this powerful phrase loosely. In effect, its true meaning has become so blurred.

Our confusion about “I love you” is complicated by our too casual use of the word "love." We love everything. We love shoes! We love Music! We love chocolate. And we love God. By the time we have finished loving everything, we are not even sure what the word means anymore.

And oftentimes, when some people say “I love you”, what they mean is, I love you but only until a newer, cooler, more comfortable friend comes along that I love more. Then my love moves on. This is often the case because many do not understand love in its proper context as God intended it.

In the Bible, 1Corinthians 13 to be precise, Love is defined in its purest, clearest and simplest term. And until we understand love the way God intended, we may not even be sure of what we mean when we say the phrase “I love you”.

When I say "I love you”, this is what I mean….

When I say “I love you”, I mean: I will be patient to you and I will be kind to you. I will not be envious of you, and never boast to you, and I will never be proud to you. I will not be rude or self-seeking. I will not be easily angered and will not keep record of your wrongs.

When I say "I love you," I mean: I will not delight in evil but I will rejoice with the truth. I will protect you and always trust you. I mean: I will always hope and persevere with you because this is what I love you means to me.

So people, the next time you want to use those very valuable words, understand what you are saying and please choose to live up to your words.

What do you mean when you say the “I love you?” 

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Its May Eleven and Dazzle's Birthday!

Today is indeed a blessed and a special day for me because on this day twenty something years ago my friend - Miss Blessing Oluwaseun Bolaji aka Dazzle was born.

 

Her birthday is as much a celebration for me as it is for her and maybe more! On this her special occasion, I choose to express how special she (my friend) really is to me…

From the first time I heard your voice to the first time we met and even till this day, my happiness have known no bounds. Our friendship has blossomed, like a rose and we have become very close.

You came into my life when I really needed a friend. And no! It wasn’t a mere coincidence that we met. It was destiny… Getting to know you has been an awesome joy! The fun we have talking to each other, the confession sessions we share together, the laugh, and every moment spent with you I will forever treasure.

You and I are different and in many ways the same. The more I get to know you, the more I get to know myself better. You have so much blessed my life that whenever I count my blessings, I count you twice.

You possess qualities that represent the qualities of the woman described in Proverbs 31 and I have no doubt in my heart that you will indeed be a virtuous woman. You are already on that path.

You are an embodiment of wisdom, your great sense of humor, your godly heart and your strong desire to be a godly woman stands you out. God bless the man that gets your hand in marriage (I hope ……*some text missing*……)

You have given me so much-- supported me, encouraged me, cared for me and prayed for me. You are a gem of a person; a rare diamond to find. If I could make this day any special for her, believe me, I would.

I don’t only hope, I know all your dreams will come true so close your eyes and wish for all that you desire. God will grant you whatever you want and GIVE YOU REASONS TO SMILE ALL YEAR LONG.

Perhaps I haven’t told you this before and even if I have, let me reiterate that whenever you need me I will always be there standing by your side... your friendship is very important to me and I wouldn’t want to lose it for anything.

Dazzle with Julie - Her bestie! 

May each birthday of yours be better than the last! You will achieve success and prosperity in every phase of your life. Your days will be filled with happiness, joy and pleasant surprises and may your nights be filled with comforting dreams…

As you celebrate this special day of yours, my three wishes are that you will be as happy as you have made me, we will remain friends forever and you know the third!

I celebrate you Miss. Blessing Oluwaseun Bolaji. Do have a blessed and a happy birthday dear… 

Love and care loads!!!

Reaching forgiveness

Have you ever tried to forgive someone only to discover that you are still angry toward that one? Well you are not alone in that situation…

There is a natural instinct in every human being to feel upset, angry and offended when someone wrongs and or hurt them however, some people are more easily offended than others. It is thus important that we learn to forgive so as to free ourselves from unnecessary pain.

Have you observed that whenever you feel hurt, wounded, abused, abandoned or violated, it is usually caused by the ones very dear to you? Yeah! And this often makes reaching forgiveness very difficult.

Oftentimes we feel we have valid reasons as to why we shouldn’t forgive certain people because of the weight of what they’ve done but the truth is, no amount of grieve, pain, hurt or anguish will undo what’s already done.

What is done is done and of course there is no future in the past so we all must learn to look beyond whatever was done. Only then can we forgive freely.

What forgiveness really does is to heal us of all the hurt and the pain of the past so that we can be at peace with ourselves. Like Tyler Perry said, “forgiveness is not for the other person(s), it is for you.”

When we hold on to hurt, we hurt ourselves even more. Letting it go is letting our self loose. Many of us hold on to bitterness and anger for far too long; sometimes for years.

I’m not saying you don’t have a right to be angry over something that was done wrong. Anger they say is a common response to insult.
All I’m saying is that you learn how to let go of your anger, because every moment you spend angry is a moment of happiness you can't get back.

As human beings, it is not strange that we often want vengeance and some of us think that holding off from reaching forgiveness is the best way to get even but that is where we get it wrong. Two wrong can never make a right.

It is not about getting even. It is about doing what is right. The desire to get even with people who offend us is what hinders us from reaching forgiveness.

We must realize that forgiveness in itself is a two way thing. You have to forgive in order for you to be forgiven.

I know some hurts are heart wrenching but it really doesn’t matter the weight of the hurt we feel.
There is no hurt that is too great to be forgiven.

As you go through life you’d realize that even the one person that wasn't supposed hurt you or ever let you down, probably will and you too will hurt people.

Not to forget, we’ve all hurt and wronged God in many different yet even before we ask Him for forgiveness; He would have already forgiven us. This is exactly what is expected of us too.

Let’s all strive to reach forgiveness. Just like the Bible rightly puts it, “to err is human but to forgive is divine.”

Forgiveness is that feeling of compassion that springs forth from within you. Let it out and forgive freely just as your heavenly father forgives you.

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Can Men and Women just be Friends?

This question I believe is an ageless one. If you ask ten different people for their opinion on the subject you will likely get ten different answers and reasons for why they believe what they believe. My opinion – it depends on the people involved.

I think there are some people who can form friendships with the opposite sex and have it remain a friendship and nothing more. They are aware of their own personal boundaries and have the ability to enforce these boundaries at will. Most importantly, they are also able to distinguish the difference between friendship and a romantic relationship, which may be the key to their success.

There are others, however, who are not able to form successful friendships with the opposite sex. They may be too easily tempted by kindness and flirtation, or they may not be able to easily distinguish the difference between a friendship and a romantic relationship.
Some may even have difficulty either setting boundaries or enforcing them. Regardless of the reason, some people simply should not form friendships with the opposite sex because it just doesn’t work for them. Regardless of which category you fall into, it is important to understand that given the nature of the male/female relationship there are always risks associated with forming these friendships.

Forming friendships with the opposite sex can become particularly complicated because no matter how genuine a friend may seem, one can never be truly sure about their intention.
It’s true that not everybody would take advantage of our vulnerability intentionally. The truth, however, is that you never really know what is going on in someone else’s mind and so you can never really be sure of their true intent.
I don’t intent to evoke fear, or to advise you not to trust anybody of the opposite sex. My intention is to simply illustrate how the male/female friendship is extremely complex.

Everybody is different. Some people can form successful friendships with members of the opposite sex, while others are better off staying clear of them.
If you insist on forming friendships with the opposite sex, you need to set some ground rules and make sure that your relationship with this friend is clearly defined in your minds before you pursue it. If this sounds like too much work, please play it safe and simply don’t turn to your girl/guy for friendship.