Failure is necessary

Mistakes are no mistakes unless someone makes them. Mistakes might be clumsy but what’s the fuss about it because we all make them.

Show me a man apart from Christ who lived and never erred… man isn’t perfect and so also is life. Mistakes are part of life process.

Don’t let your mistakes define you. Yeah! Some mistakes might be really big and bring upon you overbearing consequences but you don’t have to stay in the mud.

Get up, clean up and move on. All is not lost because you made a silly mistake just learn from it. Don’t give up on you dreams; give it you best shot.

Here is the thing… We live in a human society where failure is more or less a taboo. We have been given the thought that we have no excuse whatsoever to fail. If you fail, you are branded failure. Your name changes automatically. You walk around and people call you failure instead of you name.

Well, failure of course isn’t a pleasant thing and nobody wants it but truth is, we all fail at a point in time because we don’t have our way all the time.

Being human as we are, we shouldn’t be afraid to fail. Should we? I know this is such a big message to some of us. Especially, those of us with plenty of pride…

I learnt this the hard way. All the while I was growing up, I failed a whole lot and each time I failed, pride always had the best of me. I denied, I lied and I hid it. But guess what, it didn’t help me one bit. It only made me miserable.

It is just the grace of God and some very special people that help me get up again each time.

Truth is, almost every one of us started from failure –We have all met a point in our life when we failed miserably. And then we realize, we can start from that miserable failure!

So when we fail, it is entirely up to us to decide whether we are going to stay down, or going to get up. We are supposed to shake failure off and move on. You can’t stay in that pit forever.

No matter how fatal your failure, never give up because you can start all over from there.

Just sharing my thought…

It takes Understanding

Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom; and with all thy getting get understanding. - Proverbs 4:7

Understanding is one word but very complex. Whether complex or not, it is a prerequisite in every aspect of life.

For when we understand ourselves and the things we do, life will be much easier. Don’t you agree? Understanding whether complex or not, is achievable.

Understanding is seeing exactly what is intended and acting accordingly. Understanding is in levels and isn’t cheap thus achieving it is a process.

Understanding mostly is a function of your standing- how exposed one are, educational level, background, belief(s) amongst other things.

Understanding is achieved in many ways but I think the basic medium by which its achieved is via studying, personal experience, others experience, exposure, mentorship, divine revelation etc.

It takes understanding to know that it is the Grace of God that sustains us and not our fat salaries, neither allowances nor bonuses. It takes understanding to serve God totally with all sincerity.

It takes understanding for a girl to know that she doesn’t need any man to exploit her for little favors when she can be catered for by her father.

It takes understanding for some men to know that they don’t need other women when they already have a wife. And also that with a little investment, their wives can be turned into the dream woman they so desire.

It takes understanding to know that doing the right thing wouldn’t take anything from you rather; it will make you a better person.

It takes understanding to know that we all don’t get the same chances/opportunities at life and as such, must take advantage of the ones we get.

It takes understanding to know that you can never reap where you have not sown.
It takes understanding to know that your case is not peculiar to you; there is someone out there who has it worst off than you. So we must be thankful for whatever we get.

Of course no body can understand everything but every body can understand bits and pieces about many things. The importance of understanding cannot be over emphasized so get wisdom and with all thy getting; get understanding.

Just sharing my thoughts…

TWENTY ELEVEN, TWENTY CHANGE

Nigeria without a doubt is a great country with good citizens and of course the most populous black country in the world. Nigeria over the years has had it share of everything from the good, the bad, to the ugly.

Rich in abundant natural resources, man-power and the rest, Nigeria is plight with lot of issues like Corruption, Cyber crime, and recently, Terrorism has been added to the blacklist.

This note is purely my thoughts. I apologize if any part of it appears vague or misleading.

Corruption has become a brand commonly associated with Nigeria. There is tension and unrest in the Niger Delta peninsular. The North is plight with religious violence almost every year. Rulers have come and gone yet still none of them have been able to find an antidote to this menace.

Quality education has eluded Nigerians especially quality tertiary education for the youth. With over 36 states owned universities not to mention the polytechnics, colleges of education and the private ones, it is almost impossible for some youth to get tertiary education.

Why? There is the frustrating and hindering factor JAMB and POST JAMB and even then, when one manages to scale through these two huddles, there is the compulsory lecturer’s strike. A course for four (4) years ends up taking six (6) years.

Government officials and the elite in the society send their wards abroad for quality education whiles our educational sector is left unattended to.

Our education system is in shambles and I believe the system needs total reform and my candid opinion about JAMB and POST JAMB is that it should be scrapped.

Bad road is killing so many innocent Nigerians. Highway robbery, bank robbery, kidnapping is rampant. Maternal mortality is on the high.

Clean water is inaccessible, constant electricity is more or less a dream meanwhile, we produce tons of gas that can be used to power PHCN’s so called hydro electric plants.

Nigeria is the sixth largest producer of oil in the world yet we are the only oil producing country that experiences fuel scarcity.
We pay our taxes yet still, we still have to protect ourselves because security is absent.

Outside Nigeria, it’s quite alarming how almost everything bad is associated with Nigerians. It’s even more hurting when you find out that in an act of crime, a Nigerian or two are directly or indirectly involved.

Of course every country has it share of problems but that of Nigeria have become like a cancer that is eating us up slowly…

Perhaps you don’t know; ask around. You go somewhere, you are asked where from you, you say Nigeria and you are given a funny look. Now how does that feel?

It’s almost impossible travelling freely on a Nigerian passport without getting a stir or two.

Kind courtesy “Abdul the terrorist”, many Nigerians when they arrive at foreign airports are stripped and searched whiles nationals of other countries just walk pass by.

Some Nigerians have lost faith and hope in the country so much so that they are switching nationalities and acquiring foreign passports.

Let’s not blame them so much because lets face it; who would like to be called a citizen of a country where doctors strike, teachers strike, public servants strike; one with bad roads, kidnapping issues, religious and ethnic violence, highway robbery and what have you.

I can go on an on but that wouldn’t solve a thing.

Nigeria is what it is today kind courtesy our bad leaders. They are the genesis of this whole menace.

I dare say we have all failed when it comes to choosing a leader. We’ve all in the past sold our votes for money and at times fear.

Don’t you think Nigerians deserve better from these so called leaders?
With the impending 2011 elections, lets us all vote; and vote only for the right candidate.

I know some people will say that there is no need voting because election in Nigeria is more or less not credible. Well, that is a very good point but I have no doubt in my heart that this time, our election will be a credible one.

Corrupt leaders will be disappointed come 2011 because only deserving candidates will emerge winners.

I believe in Nigeria and I believe that Nigeria can and will get better and it only begins with you. Yes you!



Nigeria is 50 years. What better gift can we give this country than change…? Change yourself, change your vote and change Nigeria. Don’t sell your franchise; don’t sell your conscience for money or favor. VOTE RIGHT.

If you are not a registered voter, go register when the registration starts and when its time to vote, do well and exercise you franchise wisely.

Voting is a civil social responsibility we owe this country. Choosing a right leader devoid of fear and favor should be the only thing on our minds because it’s our prerogative.

It is said that “think not what your country will do for you but what you will do for your country”. I guess what we can give this country in our capacity is to choose for her a good leader who will in turn give us all we deserve.

A leader that knows corruption kills, and is ready to kill corruption. One who believes in youth empowerment… One who understands that stable electricity is keen for economic growth and development. Someone who knows that education is very vital and paramount for human and societal advancement and development.

Let’s vote only for the right person so that we can take our place on the world map as a truly great nation. Our image has been dent so much already.

It time to recreate, rebuild and re-brand Nigeria and of course there is no better time than now; now that we are 50years. Let’s not say we can’t for we all know we can and we most definitely will.

We have no excuse whatsoever to be where we find ourselves because we have all it takes to be great. Abundant natural resource, manpower and what have you. All we need is a leader to lead us aright.

Don’t wait for somebody or some other time for change. Change will not come unless you effect it. Effect change by voting right. Vote the rulers out and vote the leaders in.

It’s time to change the situation. Nigerians deserve better. Twenty eleven, twenty change Nigeria.

Not to forget, lets all go on our kneels and pray for NIGERIA and also the impending elections. For it’s about time CHANGE came into our beloved country. CHANGE WE NEED…

CHANGE WE MUST GET.

Please vote right. GOD bless NIGERIA, GOD bless US all.

Nigeria wa o ni baje oo!

“Born Nigerian, Born Great!!!”

Balancing Your Relationship

You, Me and we

Having a "balanced relationship" is basically making time and space for "you, me and we."

One thing I’ve notice in a lot of relationships is the lack of a balance in it. What do I mean by this? When two people come together there are now three parts to a system; "you," "me," and "we."
Let’s understand this clearly. There are two different individuals who come together to form the third individual (relationship) all these three people are distinct one from the other.

Two people in love aside their relationship, essentially live separate life’s with different friends, few mutual decisions and little time spent together hence the need for a balance.

I believe two people in love should not try to spend all of their free time together because it will not help individual growth or the growth of their relationship. Successful couples are those that balance their separate lives with their life together.
Spending time together is important but how much time should two people spend together? In the beginning of every relationship, it is difficult for two lovers to stay away from each other and even if they did, they will use every method of communication (text messages, phone calls, e-mails, etc) to be close.
Not seeing your better half for two days may seem like torture. There are some people who think that they should spend every minute of the day together with their partners, because they think it will enrich their relationship. Do you agree?

Quality over quantity I believe is a good relationship advice. If a couple spends one day having a great time, the memories should last them another day or so, until they are free to meet again. Spending too much time together will not help; it can even make two people miss each other more.

Contrary to what many of us believe, spending too much time together hampers individuality and makes one narrow-minded. In short, spending too much time together will spoil you!
Concentrate on having a healthy relationship in which both of you can grow as individuals.

Follow your dreams. Don’t give them up. Don’t allow your relationship to stunt your growth, mentally and emotionally. A relationship may not last forever. So at the end of the day, your dream is the one thing you own completely.
Personally, I have very little experience with relationships but that notwithstanding, I hope my note was worthwhile…

Just sharing my thoughts…

Divine is ONE!!!

It was a fairly cool Sunday afternoon at Ajah and environs. Nobody could tell whether or not the rain was going to pour considering Lagos’s unpredictable weather condition.

Though the weather wasn’t so friendly, it was good enough for a party and that was exactly what we had. My niece turn one year old a week today, but we picked today to have a little party for her.





Divine and mom


About 3:00pm and the event center was almost filled. Friends and well wishers were everywhere; for a 1 year old party, I didn’t envisage it to be this huge.

It wasn’t the greatest of parties but overall, it was a fairly good party but of course, there were little hitches here and there.

It offered me an opportunity to me met with, reconnect and do catching ups with a couple old friends and to meet new people too…

To all friends and well wishers, thank you so much for taking time out to come celebrate with us. It wouldn’t have been this good without you. Thanks again for your presents. We appreciate.

Special thanks to Hon. Lola Adeyeye aka big mummy…

We sincerely apologize for any unplanned event that must have unfolded. We can only say we will do better next time.

A very big thank you to my wonderful friends who assisted with the organization. I couldn’t have possibly done it alone.

Thanks y’all. Take care, stay safe and see you next year when DIVINE turns TWO…
Do have a Divine week.

Sample of the Invitation card.


Birthday pictures coming soon….

Can Men and Women just be Friends?

This question I believe is an ageless one. If you ask ten different people for their opinion on the subject you will likely get ten different answers and reasons for why they believe what they believe. My opinion – it depends on the people involved.

I think there are some people who can form friendships with the opposite sex and have it remain a friendship and nothing more. They are aware of their own personal boundaries and have the ability to enforce these boundaries at will. Most importantly, they are also able to distinguish the difference between friendship and a romantic relationship, which may be the key to their success.

There are others, however, who are not able to form successful friendships with the opposite sex. They may be too easily tempted by kindness and flirtation, or they may not be able to easily distinguish the difference between a friendship and a romantic relationship.
Some may even have difficulty either setting boundaries or enforcing them. Regardless of the reason, some people simply should not form friendships with the opposite sex because it just doesn’t work for them. Regardless of which category you fall into, it is important to understand that given the nature of the male/female relationship there are always risks associated with forming these friendships.

Forming friendships with the opposite sex can become particularly complicated because no matter how genuine a friend may seem, one can never be truly sure about their intention.
It’s true that not everybody would take advantage of our vulnerability intentionally. The truth, however, is that you never really know what is going on in someone else’s mind and so you can never really be sure of their true intent.
I don’t intent to evoke fear, or to advise you not to trust anybody of the opposite sex. My intention is to simply illustrate how the male/female friendship is extremely complex.

Everybody is different. Some people can form successful friendships with members of the opposite sex, while others are better off staying clear of them.
If you insist on forming friendships with the opposite sex, you need to set some ground rules and make sure that your relationship with this friend is clearly defined in your minds before you pursue it. If this sounds like too much work, please play it safe and simply don’t turn to your girl/guy for friendship.

My Best Friend

We couldn't thank God more for giving us friends. When the whole world seems to have lost faith in us, it is only our friends who are able to see the goodness in us.

When everyone around is finding faults in us it only our best friend that we find standing by our side. They seem to have the right word at the right time and even when we don't say a word they seem to understand our feelings.

Besides being pillars of support, friends go a long way in influencing us in the becoming the person we are.

I value true friendship and in this post, I write about my best friend.

As far as girls go, she is my best friend. She is not the most caring person in this world, but when I am in tears, she’ll do whatever it takes to make me smile. She is not the world’s greatest listener, but whenever I want to vent my frustrations, she listens to me. We do not always agree with each others point of view and have our share of arguments and quarrel, but after we fight, she often comes and tries to patch things up without any further arguments about who said what… She is not a very articulate speaker yet, when it comes to my faults, she somehow manages to pick out the right words to make me realize my mistakes without hurting me…when I do silly things, she yells at me and we even fight yet I find her outside my door within fifteen minutes.



Well I could just go on and on…the point is - she is not the greatest human being on the earth, I know she is not perfect but to me she seems like perfection.
With that said, here is a brief story about our friendship.

I got to know her at a very tinder age. Public schools at a time had gone on a nation wide strike and my dad wouldn’t allow me stay home so he enrolled me at my kid brother’s school –a private school (PED).

There I saw this beautiful girl. Though I was very young, I remember vividly well the charming smile on her face and her sparkling blue eyes. I immediately took interest in her and today, she is my best friend.



She was so beautiful; everyone admired her and she was the obvious toast of the teachers and of cause I couldn’t be left out of the her list of admirers.
Though my school resumed and I had to leave hers I knew for sure we were going be friends someday somehow. Like they say “friends will be friends come what may”. Call it fate but I’d rather call it destiny.

I often saw her within the estate but then it was just hello! Hi! And all the greeting stuff. I actually wanted more than greeting but I knew it was only a matter of time before that happened.

After primary school, we found ourselves at the same secondary school KCVI and in second year, we sat in the same class very close to each other. We began to jell very well from then. I remember buying her lunch at times and giving her a lap ride home on two occasions.

At this point my dream friendship had been established and everything was looking good. But again at senior secondary level, she left for another school. That didn’t break us anyway but rather opened a new chapter in our friendship.
Her departure brought us even closer and took our friendship to whole new level.
Fate again took us to the same remedial classes. There again we most times sat on the same desk, learnt together and socialized more.

Then came SSCE registration… we went together to bar beach police barracks to see the process through with her mom’s friend. After that, we relaxed and talked a while at the beach and there after took our longest walk so far together. Aside going to bar beach, we went to other places too together.

At this point we had become really close both at our respective homes, in public and of causes at classes. It felt great.

Like any other thing in life, our friendship didn’t go un-noticed. Some folks never like the idea of us being friends nor understand why we hang out together. Unimaginable rumors went round but who cared? Friendship always prevailed. Yes we had a thing or two in-between but we were best off friends.

She gave me a new home and a new family. A wonderful family at that; great mom, awesome siblings and I’m loved dearly by them. Her mom became my second mom, mentoring me in many ways.

Sincerely speaking most people can’t envisage that our kind of friendship could exist between friends of the opposite sex! However we made it happen. Friendship is friendship irrespective of the sexes involved. Its only a matter of building it through its different phases.

She always tells me over and again that I’m her best friend. One reason behind this note is let her also know she is my best friend too even though I’ve never told her to her face.

Of cause our friendship wasn’t all rosy, it had it share of thorns as well. Basically we fought because I always wouldn’t talk about myself and she really wanted me to talk about myself.

However our ugliest incident happened in September of 2005. I blew a small issue out of proportion. I gave up my best friend and hurting her so much in the process. Typical of her, she tried to patch things up so friendship could continue but I blatantly refused.

It took me quite a very long time to really feel sorry for my deeds. And even then she didn’t give up on me. When I approached her, she accepted me back and everything returned to normalcy.

But just when we were back talking and doing catching ups, I travelled out of sight in pursuit of tertiary education. That however didn’t break us either. I guess we had probably gone through tougher test and distance wasn’t going to be a real test for us.

Each I return to Lagos from school, she was the first to know in fact, I visit her the same night I return.
Over the years, time and tides has managed to keep us away from each other but I dare to say that we’ve been through it all and absolutely nothing can break the bond of friendship we share.

Here is to her; Miss Oluwabunmi Ifedayo Adeyeye.
Miss you dear..